Look, let's take a step back. Growing up, I was always bossy. I was strong willed and sometimes aggressive. It helped me in a lot of situations, but it also hurt me in others. I don't know why I was that way - I guess I was just an angry teenager. As I have gotten older, especially since I become a mother, I have softened up... A LOT! It is to the point, that I feel as if lately, people have been sensing my calmness as weakness and taken the opportunity to attack me!
With that said, I really wanted to show Bailey that being kind and having a heart like God's would get her further in the long run. Everyday I am having to make the conscious decision to do the "right" thing in front of Bailey instead of what I really want to do... or say for that matter.
The fire is still there, it is just more controlled.
But, Bailey comes home often and tells me of things that other kids say to her at school and it literally tears at every strand of my inner being. I hurt. I want to cry for her. I want to cut someone.
For example, Christian and I have really tried to teach Bailey to be cultured and try new things. She uses chopsticks while eating sushi, and on Friday's during Lent has partaken in tofu. We don't do a lot of chicken fingers and pizza and when she eats fruit, I try to make it exotic - not always an apple.
Bailey has come home from school several times this year and has barely eaten her lunch that I know she loves because another child has made fun of it! One time we sent her with leftover Pho and a girl told her that it looked like "worms." Another time, I sent her with tuna and someone told her that her lunch smelt disgusting! I can't even deal. I can only imagine what GARBAGE their parents probably sent them with... a cheese sandwich and chips.
The worst part of it all is that it affects her. She doesn't finish her lunch because it embarrasses her! I have had multiple conversations with her about it. I told her that next time someone one says something about her lunch, just tell them that you think that it is good and that they don't have to eat it - then tell them to back off! Christian on the other hand told her to tell her friends to tell their dad to come see her dad... omg.
Nothing will turn you psycho more than kids hurting your kids. The other issue is this... is Bailey perfect? No.. BUT, this is her FIRST time in school being around other kids and honestly, she has never even seen "mean". One pattern that I have noticed is that the kids that tease ALL have older siblings. I think that is definitely the major factor... they learn it from them and it is so premature! Preschoolers should not be TEASING each other!
It doesn't stop with lunch either. It is playing. Bailey wants to play with everyone... to a fault. When I take her to the playground, she just walks up to kids and is like, "I'm Bailey - do you want to play?" Of course I am proud that she is so sweet - because I was NOT like that - but I am also worried that she doesn't know how to defend herself! This is Christian's biggest fear. When she was a toddler, she used to hit and bite but now that she has words, all of that aggression is gone. I used to worry that she was TOO strong and now I worry that she is not strong enough.
Often she comes home and says, "Mom, ____ didn't play with me today but she said she would play with me tomorrow." or "Mom, I think _____ was sad today because she wouldn't play with me." Or "Mom, today ____ pushed me and I cried."
I'm like, first of all... don't be taking freaking RAIN CHECKS to play with people. Tell them BYE. These four year olds with attitudes kill me... "No Bailey, I don't want to play today I will grace you with my presence tomorrow." OMG. Seriously. Now, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to play, but it is like ALL THE TIME! And it is the same person... why Bailey is so obsessed with her, I will never know.
This all just brings me back to the days of asking someone if they like you - check yes or no.
My hope is that Bailey maintains a sweet little personality forever and the answer for her will always be YES.
In the end, I know that parents can't help what their kids say and I am sure that Bailey will one day humiliate me by doing something out of character. I just have to get through the heartache of it all... but for now... I am relishing in all this sweetness and praying that it stays like this forever :)
xoxo
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| Sometimes she sneaks into our bed before we go up! |
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| So happy spring is here! |
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| Trying to do some planks with this little thing sneaking under me... |
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| Donuts with Dad at school :) |
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| Dinner Date on my favorite rooftop patio in Atlanta! |
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| Cleopatra? This is how she fashioned her dinner service... |
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| She is so proud that she can draw a butterfly now :) |
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| B has been BEGGING me to take her jogger to the park... I have been hesitant because I knew she would quit and I would end up pushing it home... but to my surprise, she went all the way! |
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| She even jogged like "me" |
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| Family picnic :) |
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| Bailey said she was wearing her bracelet like "Pohacontas" |
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| that hair tho... |
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| Easter Egg Hunt at school |
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