Blessings, Bliss, and Bailey: Lessons From My Mother

When asked what the greatest lesson was that I learned from my mother - I can mutter off 1000. Today, I have chosen 7. Some serious, some funny.
My mother was born on September 21, 1944. She lost her battle with cancer on April 28, 2009 at the age of 64 but her advice and lessons still ring loud and clear :)

Lessons:

Dessert Is Fine for Dinner

My dad traveled a lot growing up and my mom and I found ourselves eating out much of the time. The best nights were when she said, "Let's go to Harpers and get a milkshake for dinner."
I will definitely do this with Bailey.

When to Walk Away

My parents never let me quit anything. I can recall taking piano lessons, gymnastics, dance, swim team, guitar lessons, soccer, softball, and dive team all at the same time. I remember being so tired of always having somewhere to be! I wanted to skip all the time, or just not go ever again - but my mom always made me finish it out. All that ended in high school... Tough story to tell still to this day, but I had a soccer coach who really didn't like me and basically quit playing me my senior year. It was unbearable. Starting on that team for 3 years and all of the sudden not even getting to sub in - well, one night, I looked in the stand, saw my mom sitting there and thought "this is crazy - I'm done".
I grabbed my bag, didn't say a word to anyone - not even my coach and walked off up into the stands. I walked to my parents and said, "I quit."
They just got up, and walked out with me. We never talked about it - but I knew that they understood why I did it. Turns out, that experience messed me up so bad that I did not touch a soccer ball again until 4 years ago. I have also learned that I am not the only person to endure such... my best friend Megan also has a permanent psychological injury from a jerk of a coach.
I will remember this when Bailey starts playing sports.

A Clean Home is a Clean Conscience

My mom cleaned more than any woman I know. My sister and I joke that to this day that our mom ruined cleaning for us. I LOVE things clean, but just have some block about doing it. My mom vacuumed everyday. Every room. Every corner. Every window.
On Saturday's before we could even consider going out to play we had to clean our room and our bathroom. Easy right? Ugh, no. We had to use a cup of warm water and ammonia and a toothbrush and clean ALL of our baseboards and window sills. Dust every corner, shelf, ceiling, and cranny. Clean the hardwoods with a rag and vacuum the rug until perfect vacuum lines could be seen. Ridiculous. When I was older, I asked my mom about her cleaning obsession.
She told me,

"A clean home is a clean conscience."

Now that I am running my home full time, I couldn't agree more. I work out a lot of problems in my head while cleaning - truth. I will have to remember this for Bailey ;)

Be Faithful

My mother was such an image of what God was looking for in a Christian woman. She walked with God everyday of her life. Many did not understand my mom - she was gentle in the way you need to be to be a mother but also firm when it came to rules. My mom had no problem calling you out if you were rude, disrespectful, or not Christ-like, and that can rub you the wrong way. But then you grow up, and realize that she was right :)
She used to always tell me that it was my job to lead my family in faith and to this day, I make it my work.

Be Supportive

With all of the sports and activities that I did - one thing my mom showed was how to be supportive. She never missed a game, a recital, or a concert. And there were literally hundreds. I remember being younger and my parents picking up my teammates to ride with us to the game - but never me... my Mom was ALWAYS there, sitting in the stands, cheering... my biggest fan.
I strive to always be Bailey's biggest fan - whatever her talent.

Always Wear Blush

I die when I see girls on their way to school these days - in sweat pants and Uggs! When we were in school, we dressed to the NINES - not just in high school, but coming all the way up!
I distinctly remember getting blush on my cheeks for school pictures in kindergarten! My mom even curled my hair for softball games! She told us it was important to ALWAYS look your best, even when it seemed unnecessary.
When my sister had her first child, she was like most moms and laid up in the house wearing a moo moo with no make up. My mom went over one morning and gasped...
"Hillary! Where is your make-up? You need to wash your hair!"
My sister was like, "Uh, I just had a baby" My mom then lectured her on how important it was to wake up every morning, do your hair and makeup and look good. Hey, there are lots of eligible women out there... you need to always keep your men coming back!
To this day, I wear liquid liner on any day that ends in "Y".

Don't Be a Leaky Roof

My sister and I nearly fall out on the floor when we recollect this story. It is one of our favorites.
My mom once read this verse:

Proverbs 27:15 A quarellsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.
and
Proverbs 21:9 A man would rather live on the corner of a roof than share a house
with a quarrelsome wife.

I don't know why we think it is so funny that nagging women are compared to a leaky roof!! Or that a man would rather hunch on the corner of a house than live in it with a crazy wife!!! Hysterical. But nonetheless true... I know a few of these women and I can honestly say that their husbands would agree. My mother was good at NOT being a nag and staying off my dad's back in order to create peace and harmony in our home. That is very important to have when raising these little kids :)

My mom's obituary really spoke of who she was - I hope to have so many fabulous things written of me when I leave this world :)

Happy Mother's Day!

ELIZABETH "Betty" MAYS WEILAND

Mrs. Weiland, age 64, of Charlotte, NC went home to be with the Lord on April 28, 2009.

Daughter, wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, cousin and friend were all titles she proudly held. Betty performed all of these roles with great passion, love and delight. Daughter of Mary Frances Anderson Mays and Thomas James Mays, she was born in Cheverly, Maryland on September 21, 1944. She fell in love with James Richard Weiland, Jr., her sweetheart since the 10th grade at Sprayberry High School in Marietta, Georgia. They both graduated from the University of Georgia in Athens in 1966 and 1967 respectively, where she was recognized for her academic achievements by being tapped into the honor societies of Phi Kappa Phi and Beta Gama Sigma. Richard and Betty married on October 20, 1966. They joyfully raised five children predominantly in their home of 35 years in Charlotte, NC. Betty was an active member of Providence Road Church of Christ where she fervently and enthusiastically involved herself in the Ladies Bible Class as both a student and teacher. She felt she was purposed to be a mother and a wife and did both with a passion of love and devotion. She was a loyal friend and a remarkable woman and will be greatly missed by those who were lucky enough to have known her or to have been loved by her. Her definition of success is that one be heaven bound when they leave this earth.

Betty is survived by her precious mother, Mary Frances Mays of Marietta, Georgia; her cherished husband, James Richard Weiland, Jr. of Weddington; three sons, James Richard Weiland III and his wife Mary Sklar Weiland of Charlotte, Thomas M. Weiland and his wife Leah Gulledge Weiland of Blythewood, S.C., and Ward Weiland of Weddington, N.C. ; two daughters, Hillary Weiland Cameron and her husband William Luther (Billy) Cameron of Weddington, N.C. and Mary Kathryn Weiland Cooper and her husband Christian Riley Cooper of Atlanta, GA. She has one treasured brother and sister-in-law, Thomas Anderson Mays and Marinan Mays of Mableton, GA; and, twelve beloved grandchildren – Joshua Scott Weiland, Anna Leigh Weiland, Edie Cameron, Emma Weiland, Billy Cameron, Alexandra Weiland, Sadie Cameron, Abigail Weiland, Elizabeth Weiland, Harrison Sklar, Ryan Sklar, and Jake Sklar. She is also survived by her dear mother-in-law, Myrtle Baxter Weiland of Marietta, Georgia as well as numerous cousins, nieces, and nephews.

Honorary pall bearers are: Cousins, Fred McLaughlin, Jim McLaughlin, Walter Puryear, Frank Puryear, and Edgar Anderson; loyal and faithful college friends Bill Peers and Philip Hudgins; true-blue friends and neighbors Rodney McSwain and George Varnell, genuine friend and shepherd Charles Dowdy; special high school friends, Henry Garmon, Bill Bryson, David Travitz, Bobby Ross, and Chuck Phillips; prized nephews, Aaron Mays and Dawson Mays; always kind and cordial brother-in-law, Mike Fortenberry; and friend since the age of four, Kenneth Tillery.